“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.” – Steven Pressfield
For most of us, there seems to be this huge gap between the life we live and the life we really want.
How I Escaped From Natural Hair Prison
When I decided to go natural in 2010, it was after many years of thinking about it but being too chicken to actually DO it. After I did my first big chop, I felt free from all the emotional baggage that had kept me from embracing the natural beauty of my hair without a relaxer. I was so happy about finally letting my soul glow that I wanted to liberate everyone else around me from the “creamy crack,” too.
Little did I know that I was about to be stuck in another prison myself.
Three Reasons to Stop Watching Reality TV Shows
“As long as we continue to live as if we are what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us, we will remain filled with judgments, opinions, evaluations, and condemnations. We will remain addicted to the need to put people and things in their “right” place. To the degree that we embrace the truth that our identity is not rooted in our success, power, or popularity, but in God’s infinite love, to that degree can we let go of our need to judge.” - Henri Nouwen
A few weeks ago, I was visiting my mom and aunt, celebrating their birthdays. After dinner one night, we came back to mom’s house to be lazy and watch the Oprah Network. Beverly Johnson’s reality show was on. After just a few minutes of tuning in, I was quickly reminded of the reasons why I don’t like watching them.
Honesty: A Review of April 2012
This year, I am being more intentional about reflecting on my life and work. How else will I know if I’m making progress on the goals, dreams and opportunities I have for myself? I loved doing my annual review of 2011 (here are the questions I used for that), so now I’ve committed to doing a review of each month of the year as well.
Here, I present a brief review of the fourth month of 2012, starting with a word that captures the essence how I spent the month of April: HONESTY.
This is some of what I did last month, personally and professionally.
4 Ways to Make Room for More Happiness in Your Life
“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” - Henri Nouwen
My little cousin Elijah is three years old and, like any toddler, is very clear about what does and does not make him happy. If you suggest doing something he isn’t interested in, he breaks into a pout and states firmly, “I don’t WANT to.” As kids, most of us probably had a similar attitude. But as adults, it can feel impossible to get back to that time when we focused on our own happiness instead of trying to make everyone else happy. Yet, we have to remember that happiness is not something that just occurs automatically. The truth is, we have to constantly choose to be happy and make space for what we really want. Otherwise, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut after a while, focusing on all the things we dislike about our lives.
If you’ve been pouting like my little cousin Elijah lately, here are a few strategies you can use to start making room for more happiness in your life. Continue Reading
Join the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge: May 2012 Edition
This is the announcement post for the May 2012 edition of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.
Note: Please read everything on this page if you want to join us for May. If you already completed last month’s challenge, no need to do this one (unless you want to repeat it) as the exercises are identical month by month.
For May 2012, I am putting out the invitation here on the blog for those who want to benefit from my virtual life coaching program, 31 Days to Reset Your Life. Each day of the program requires you to complete an exercise that will help you get back on track in ways that will allow you to become a better, happier, healthier and more successful person in the future.
You’ll get exercises to help you:
- Get out of an unsatisfying rut
- Rediscover who you truly are
- Develop a personal mission statement
- Create a map for your ideal life
- Envision and pursue your passion and purpose
- Get clear about your goals for the future
- Eliminate behaviors that are holding you back from being happy
- Experiment with new strategies for living a healthy life
- Build new relationships
- Cultivate the entrepreneurial spirit within
- …and much more!
Who is this challenge for?
Anyone who wants to manifest a change in their life, design a more fulfilling existence, make room for new possibilities or simply gain more clarity about their path to happiness and success. This challenge will especially be of benefit to you if you’ve felt stuck or in a rut during the last year.
How to sign up:
Each participant who signs up for 31 Days to Reset Your Life will commit to doing each of the daily exercises.
Step 1:
You will need to SIGN UP HERE so you can be notified of each of the daily assignments. This is the MOST IMPORTANT STEP, otherwise you will NOT receive any of my challenge blog posts in your inbox. Once you enter and CONFIRM your email address, you will automatically receive a daily email. The emails will be sent to you every day for 31 days, starting immediately. So if you don’t want to start until May 1, wait until then to sign up! Each email will contain an exercise or assignment designed to provoke reflection and planning. Each email will also contain a link back to my blog where you can comment and connect with other 31 Day Reset participants. This way, you get a daily reminder to complete the exercise and share your learnings with the group!
Step 2:
One of the best things about participating in a challenge is the accountability and support, so in addition to signing up, please add your name, blog link, and Twitter handle (if you have one) in the comments below so that we can keep tabs on your progress throughout the month. As soon as you sign up, you will receive your first assignment and you can get started on right away, whenever you choose to begin!
How to participate:
As you complete each of the daily exercise, blog about the results (if some of the exercises don’t really apply to you, no worries). Note: If you decide to blog along, tag your posts with the tag “31dayreset” to make them easier to share with us.
If you don’t want to write about the challenge on your blog, you can still participate in a few other ways:
- Follow along with the daily exercises and let us know how you apply them in the comments of each of the posts here on Happy Black Woman
- Comment on the blog posts written by the other challenge participants – be sure to leave your own insights, suggestions and tips on the topics covered and share with us what you’re learning
- Post your updates and learnings on Twitter using the hashtag #31dayreset (and follow me @happyblackwoman)
- Join the Happy Black Woman Facebook community where you can post your insights and comment within the Facebook platform
P.S. Don’t forget to SIGN UP HERE so you can be notified of each of the daily assignments. Again, this is the most important step, otherwise you will NOT receive any of my challenge blog posts in your inbox and you will have to manage this process on your own.
P.P.S. Don’t forget to come over and join The Happy Black Woman Facebook Community if you haven’t already so you can get even more encouragement throughout the month! If you’re on Twitter, follow me @happyblackwoman to get updates there, too.
Want All the 31 Day Reset Exercises in One Place?
The Reset Workbook contains all 31 daily assignments in one place as well as 28 printable worksheets to supplement the material and help you complete the daily exercises. The workbook is 60 pages long and comes in an electronic, ebook format.
For those who may wish to go at their own pace, this workbook allows you to have all the assignments at your fingertips in addition to the opportunity to connect with others who are doing the 31 Day Reset program here on the blog. There are also a few bonuses, like the full version of the Life Mapping Workbook with a video training!
How Much Money Should You Charge for Speaking?
This is the hotel room I stayed in last week when I went to Harrisonburg, VA to teach a social media workshop at a nonprofit conference. It was at the Fairfield Inn. Nothing too glamorous. But then, hotels don’t have to be extra fancy for me to enjoy them. I love them all, really – from the Holiday Inn to the W. I love the whole process of checking in, getting warm cookies (at the Doubletree); sleeping on (hopefully) crisp, clean sheets; getting to watch the Food Network for a few hours; having someone else clean the bathroom; sipping hot tea in my room; looking out the window when I have a great view; hanging out in the jacuzzi (if they have one); eating the free breakfast (if they have one); scheduling a wake up call so I don’t oversleep, getting restaurant recommendations from the concierge or ordering room service that I get to charge to the client (at a reasonable cost, of course!).
Eight Months, Four Rooms, One Nomadic Adventure (Photos)
This is me in Baltimore last month.
It’s been almost eight months since I gave up my apartment in DC to save money for travel. What’s really happened in that time is that I’ve learned a ton about myself – who I really am and who I really want to be. At this point in my journey, I thought it might be helpful to post a brief timeline for those who are new to the blog and my experience exploring location independence - the ability to live and work anywhere.
Have You Started Yet?
“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb
Every success story has to begin somewhere. Whether your goal is to lose weight or start your own business or travel the world or find a new love, at some point you have to take the first step.
Four Steps to Becoming a Professional Speaker
Yesterday on the Happy Black Woman Facebook community, someone asked me where I find my speaking engagements. (Speaking at conferences is a low-volume, high-price service that makes up the bulk of my income most months.) My response was that they find me! I’ve been speaking professionally since 2008 (when I got my first paid gig) and most of my clients just come to me through the various marketing channels I’ve cultivated over the years. Now I know that generic answer is not very helpful to you if you want to start getting paid as a speaker, so I’ll break down a few of the steps I think are important to the process.
7 Strategies to Help You Stop Buying Things You Don’t Need
Over the weekend, I went to visit my mom and aunt to celebrate their birthdays. They were born one day and two years apart! We hung out at the National Harbor yesterday and I was surprised at how many shops are there now compared to how many there were when it first opened. My aunt loves to shop, so we ended up exploring many of the clothing and accessory stores at the harbor. Although I saw lots of lovely things that would look good on me, I walked away from that place empty-handed, as usual. I have little desire to buy “stuff” anymore, unless it’s something I actually need. I’ve been living this way for about two years now.