What to Do When You Forget

January 29, 2012  |  Personal Development, Relationships  |  No Comments

Don't Forget

I’ve been practicing communicating my feelings and needs as part of my journey to do everything in love.

Some days, I am able to summon up the courage to put it all out there and say what I feel to get what I need. Even if/when the person doesn’t respond the way I want them to, I feel good that I’ve said what I needed to. When I tell my truth, I get what I want more often than not.

Other times, I stumble my way through words and emotions and the words that give meaning to those emotions. Sometimes it gets “too hard,” and I let fear take over. I default to what I know, which can be anything from using manipulative language, blaming the other person for not meeting my needs or just straight giving up. That’s when it all goes downhill for me and whoever I’m in relationship with.

What are you supposed to do when you forget? What happens after you take actions that are out of alignment with your values and intentions?

I used to think that you were supposed to fix it. Or at least, try to. You smooth things over and maybe bake a cake.

Today, though, I am meditating on wisdom from Mark Nepo (I read his daily essays from The Book of Awakening):

Inhale and try again.

Start with your best self and go from there. It sounds so simple, but it’s not.

Every day we have to walk the path.

And if you think it ever gets any easier, you’re in for a rude awakening.

Event Recap: Happy Black Woman Winter Happy Hour in DC

Event Recap: Happy Black Woman Winter Happy Hour in DC

01/26/2012  |  6 Comments

For our third informal happy hour, over 20 ladies showed up to network and mingle at La Tasca in Washington, DC.... more

10 Reminders to Be More Compassionate

10 Reminders to Be More Compassionate

01/23/2012  |  5 Comments

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. - Plato My family is in town this week. I've been... more

What You Won't Find on Pinterest

What You Won’t Find on Pinterest

01/18/2012  |  14 Comments

I can see the stars all the way from here.   This is what morning looks like for me in Baltimore. I took this picture as... more

5 Ways to Earn More Money in 2012

5 Ways to Earn More Money in 2012

01/17/2012  |  6 Comments

As 2012 begins, many of us are looking at our monthly budget and wondering why we don't make more money... more

Happy Black Woman Cooks: Lemon-Garlic Spinach

Happy Black Woman Cooks: Lemon-Garlic Spinach

01/16/2012  |  3 Comments

Today, I made my first home-cooked meal in Baltimore: salmon, lemon-garlic spinach and brown rice. I'm so happy that the place... more

What Do You Look For in Your Relationships?

What Do You Look For in Your Relationships?

01/15/2012  |  3 Comments

A few days ago, I opened up my daily dose of love and this quote punched me in the gut: We are not responding to this instant, if we... more

How to Say What You Feel and Get What You Want

How to Say What You Feel and Get What You Want

01/14/2012  |  3 Comments

Right now, I'm reading Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg. It was recommended by Gwen Bell as a tool to improve your communication skills.... more

What to Get Rid Of

What to Get Rid Of

01/13/2012  |  7 Comments

Yesterday's post about my move to Baltimore and continued downsizing prompted some great comments and emails about how, exactly, to... more

How Much Do You Really Need?

How Much Do You Really Need?

01/12/2012  |  14 Comments

This is where I am living now. I found it on Airbnb Sublets. It's been five months since I gave up my apartment and I've found... more

Three Ways to Force Yourself to Pursue Your Goals in 2012

Three Ways to Force Yourself to Pursue Your Goals in 2012

01/11/2012  |  5 Comments

I attended the Oahu online entrepreneurs meetup last month when I was in Hawaii. It was a really cool group of people there... more